Stalking my own house

I park two houses down and casually stroll over to my house, trying to look like someone who does this all the time.  As I get closer and closer, I try to avoid windows so as not to be seen from inside.  I creep over to the first kitchen window and duck down, listening for sounds from inside.  (Huh, the lawn guys forgot to pull these weeds hiding back here.)  I don’t hear anything inside so I move on to the next window.  I have to put my hand up to get rid of the glare and I worry they’ve seen me.  Still don’t see or hear anything.  Sigh.

No, nothing to worry about folks.  I’ve just left my daughter with a new babysitter and the goodbye was not the best.  She usually tells me not to go but the hysterical crying and clinging for dear life made me question everything.  So I am hoping to see them playing together and my daughter happy so I can go on with my errands.

I decide to leave and trust that they are fine.  The babysitter is probably not spanking at my daughter or abducting her to Spain.  I leave and call the sitter’s phone number, but it must be in her purse because she doesn’t answer.  Thirty minutes later and two more unanswered phone calls and I’m pretty sure something’s wrong.  I go back home.

As I enter, I hear laughter coming from the playroom.  They are completely fine and happy, playing bingo together.  My daughter doesn’t come running to me.  They are surprised to see me.

I mention that I tried calling and the babysitter is confused.  She goes over to our dining room table and picks up one of my daughter’s pretend phones, a discarded cell phone from at least 5 years ago.  “Did you call on this? I didn’t hear it ring.”  Lol.  Turns out she thought I was calling our home phone (we don’t have one) AND I don’t have her cell phone number.  I was calling her home number and clearly, she was not home!

Is this normal? Remember yesterday’s post about looking for some time to myself? It seems so difficult to achieve! But we will try again and this time, I’m not going home early.



8 thoughts on “Stalking my own house

  1. ok don’t leave us hanging! How were they? It is oh so hard at first, if because of our own mommy-guilt if nothing else but you can do it! Both of you! My daughter has had her ups and downs with preschool – fine at first, then probably 4-5 weeks in the middle where I went in and sat and stayed for the first half hour (of only four total that she stays each time) and now she doesn’t even wave goodbye when I leave! I try to look at it like this: I’m setting the example for her that it’s alright to be a separate person and need time to nourish yourself as a mom AND she’s learning to be more independent, which I love and hate. Hope they had good day! You’re brave to be trying something new 🙂

    • Sorry!! I left for a half hour and tried calling but no answer and I couldn’t stop my imagination and went home. Actually, that’s a pretty funny story too. I’ll have to update this…

  2. Naomi,

    What you did was so “normal”. I can’t begin to tell how many times I spied on my daughter when she first started pre-school. I peaked in the playground, the classroom, and during lunch time. It made me feel so much better knowing that she was having fun. It’s actually very interesting to observe your child when they do not know you are watching.

    I think what you did is a sign a caring and loving mom.


  3. hi, I would say what you did was normal, because that is what I did, and I know I wasn’t the only one! I think it is a good idea to check out the babysitter. my kids are now grown, they are healthy and happy and normal. And they know I will still check, and sometimes double check, just to make sure all is well. Did I mention they are both in their mid twenties – and have been living on their own for several years!!!!! once a mom always a mom, I did find a balance between being scared and letting them grow and I am sure you will too.

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