Staying true to your path

I’m guessing the reason I like this quotation is that I have been frustrated lately.  I am turning to more and more creative projects that look so fun (probably because I’m bored), but I don’t have the time to devote to them at this point in my motherhood journey.  I’ve gotten some great encouragement from other parents lately that these early years are indeed precious and fleeting, which I recognize, but in the middle of this crazy time, it’s been very difficult for me to appreciate it as much as I probably should.  I fully take in my daughter’s adorableness and growth and am constantly writing down funny things that come out of her mouth, etc.  I chose “mindfulness” as my word of the year because I sincerely want to enjoy each moment.  BUT, I miss “me time” so much.  I’m sure I’m not alone in this.

I probably require more time to myself than the average person, something I took into account before getting pregnant.  I know enough about myself to recognize that my daughter will be an “only” because I can’t handle the stimulation of more people in our house, more demands on my body and my time.  Having another person with me all day is a challenge, let alone the little hummingbird of a person that is my sweet girl.  I’m an introvert with what seems most of the time to be an extravert-type job.

“Stress is what happens when you want to do two things at the same time.” ~ Seth Godin

So I’m trying to fit in the projects where possible, sneak in quiet reading time where I can, and otherwise enjoy all the activity.  “Life is a journey” reminds me that this part is just as important as all the others.  “See the setbacks as giant leaps forward” teaches me that this too is a necessary growth experience.  It’s so true that I “can’t see the bigger picture at the moment” and I have to accept that.

I want “to be present” and “mindful” and appreciate all the gifts that encompass my life.  I  am determined to get better at finding a quiet contentment with the way things are, no matter how they are.

Do any of you struggle with this?


8 thoughts on “Staying true to your path

  1. Oh girl, you are SO not alone! This has been the hardest thing for me since I became a mom almost 2 1/2 years ago. I miss being able to read an entire book start to finish or go shop for project supplies (without chasing anyone around the store) and then just go work on that project. Sometimes I feel so selfish! But then I try to take a deep breath and remind myself that as my daughter gets older it does get easier. I’m also trying to find those moments in each day that make it all really worth it (Momastery had a great post on this within the past couple of weeks). I think struggling with these things is far more common than we realize and talking to each other helps. We also let the kiddo start a preschool this year for a few hours twice a week and she LOVES it and I get a little me time and it has made a huge difference! Hang in there and email me if you need to vent – nothing like having other moms around who get it 🙂

  2. Been there Naomi, as they get older and more independant you´ll get your time back and i would´nt mind betting you´ll be hankering for the time they were a little bundle of joy- rather than a big bundle of uncontrollable energy!

  3. Hi Naomi, I too struggle with these issues (and am even more worried these days, as the new baby is just 7 weeks or so from making an appearance). I end up feeling so guilty when I want time for me because my son is very good at saying, “I want you, Mommy” just when I need a break (like an opportunity to use the bathroom without company!). 🙂 Last night, I was trying to retrieve an earring that had fallen into our sink, and in the process of replacing the trap at the bottom of the drain (without finding the earring), I somehow broke the trap so that it couldn’t go back on (and we now cannot use that sink until I replace it). So I was sitting on the floor feeling very upset, and Jacob said, “Are you sad, Mommy? I will give you a hug to make you feel better.” And even though I’d been feeling terrible and had been wishing he was occupied with something else so that he wouldn’t be getting in my way, his comment (and hug) made me realize that life would be a lot easier if I could remember to focus on important things, like how a hug from my little one can really brighten everything. So by this morning, in spite of still wanting my “me” time, I was thinking again about how lucky I am to have this time and realizing that it might be another 6 or more years before I really have “me” time again, but that’s not so long, and I can learn a lot in the meantime. Still, I’m sure I’ll be feeling a lot of tension when I need time for myself, but (like you) I hope to get better at being content in the moment.

    • Donna,
      Just last night I was thinking about you and wondering how you are. So happy to hear from you!
      I suppose if we keep the big picture in mind, these years aren’t so long, but in the middle of it, oy. I laughed out loud when you wrote that six years isn’t so long to wait for a little me time. Ha! I am trying to find it in little moments here and there.

  4. I can relate to every word, Naomi! I have three little lifes in my care and sometimes it feels that my energy all goes to them (and my work) with little left for myself. I am trying to help them find their own passions so we can all enjoy “me time” in tandem! Easier said than done, though! My husband and I even joke of getting an apartment where we can split time! We would never do it, but doesn’t that sound brilliant?! : ) Now I simply don’t sleep. I was up past two last night reading blogs, watching TED Talks and writing. It was worth feeling tired today! Btw, my word for the year is Present. Know you are not alone. And don’t feel guilty for needing to nurture your own spirit. Sorry for the long comment!

    • I love this, Jen. “3 little lives…” so great to think of it that way. We really do have a huge responsibility!
      I miss all the time I COULD be spending reading blogs and writing and editing pictures and reading books…
      I think a little apartment would be so awesome. I have a babysitter come over one afternoon a week, but I have to leave the house and I never know where to go. I honestly thought of getting a hotel room for 4 hours so I could take a nap today. 🙂 But next best, I’m at a coffee shop writing to you!
      Hang in there!
      P.S. I am a HUGE library user and I loved your post/letter to the library. I have those books that I will never part with because I love holding them and looking at them on the shelf. But, for the fiction I read most these days, I don’t mind borrowing it and giving it back. My daughter has been getting very attached to her library books though, and we have to check them out over and over again and eventually end up buying some of them.

  5. Pingback: Stalking my own house | Poetic Aperture

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